Reading and Rumination
by frecles
Summary: Kate Beckett reads to remember her mother, but thoughts of castle won't leave her alone. A short story set in season one about change and Beckett getting used to their new found partnership. One - shot.


**A/N: **Just a small story after four years of not writing anything.

Her eyes skated over the page, the words slippery, just out of reach.

Sometimes when she was reading, she would close her eyes and let the images the book conjured gently float to the surface. The quiet view from Derek Storm's hotel room. The crudeness of the small towns only interrogation room, further fuelled by air of open distrust. The warmth of the street as he exited a dark alley where he had fought for a small victory. Intertwined within these images was the softness of Johanna's smile, when many years ago she had turned these pages herself. No matter how old Kate had become, her mother would read with the same serene expression as if reacting to the words would allow Kate to see them before she was ready.

But tonight she could barely read through a sentence without thinking about Castle. His smug grin, his annoying comments, his name pressed into the cover where her fingers held the novel.

Drawing her attention back to the story her eyes caught a word. _Apples_. A casual description of the love interest's collection of perfumes and it made her wonder about his joke. Did the world really hold a romantic significance to him or was it simply the first word he could use to frustrate her more. She tried to ground herself within the story and found herself questioning if the twist was a part of his original intention, or if Gina had pushed him into it. The words blurred before her eyes. Her mother was gone, and even through this ritual she couldn't seem to reach her.

She phone rang, she steeled herself against the emotions threatening to overwhelm her.

"Beckett."

"Detective, just a hypothetical, is shooting your father under the cover of battle considered a war crime?"

Before she could answer, she heard Alexis in the background "Even if it is, I still got the point."

"Will points matter to you in federal custody?"

"Castle!" Beckett said, sharper than she intended.

"Care to chime in Beckett?"

"She'd be doing me a favour."

"Detective, I'm wounded,"

"No, you're dead."

"And you would let my precious baby angel go to jail for patricide?"

"Dad," Alexis' voice sounded closer to the phone than before, and a white noise suggested that she was about to try to wrestle the phone away from her father, "stop being such a sore loser and let Beckett get back to her night." Kate was surprised by the laugh that bubbled within her, the familiarity of family temporarily lifting the veil of sadness. "One more point for Alexis"

"If you add a point now, I will officially change your scoreboard name to Precious-Baby-Angel-Pumpkin, all hyphenated. And, your real name. I can do that, I'm your father."

"You couldn't handle losing to someone with a quadruple barrelled first name."

"Castle!" The scuffling stopped. "You know I would cover the ass of anyone who could get you out of my hair."

"Thanks Kate" Alexis called out.

Castle let out an exaggerated sigh "I suppose that will have to do. Until tomorrow detective."

"Night Castle." She gently hung up and placed her phone beside her on the couch, feeling the same soft smile on her face that she used to find in her mother.

She picked her book and opened it to the page she had been struggling over.

As she began to read, the words flowed naturally, as did the images that appeared behind her eyes. Derek Storm and his partner running down unknown streets after a shadowy figure. Kate Beckett looking up at her mother to find her smiling eyes peering back at her over the well-worn cover of her favourite murder mystery. Castle playing laser tag with his daughter, pausing to call her in an effort to make sure she was okay after a stressful case, disguised as an effort to disqualify Alexis.

As her eyes dried and her breathing slowed, a pang of grief went through her. Not for her mother, or the life she wasn't leading with a family of her own, but for the change in her solitary one. It seemed for now at least, she would be sharing the memories of her mother with Castle.

Her phone rang again, and she answered it with the professionalism of a detective who was still on call. "Beckett."

"Ok, but shooting me a second time, in the back no less, just isn't cool, right."

Kate barked out surprised laugh, clearing the remaining tightness in her throat. And as she once again took the side of her partner's daughter, her fingers ran over the surfaces of the book. She could learn to live with this.


End file.
